Christmas is a time for family.
It's also a time for giving.
So why not buy your beloved relatives (and their first born sons) a gift that captures the true spirit of King Herod's Christmas adventures in Day-Care: A Kalashnikov rifle.
Thanks to the wonders of e-commerce, you can now shop for lethal assault weapons from the comfort of home.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Christmas is a time for family. I dare not arm my relatives."
Well, don't worry. The recipient doesn't get an actual Kalashnikov. They get a Thank You card from a charity.
The real Kalashnikov goes to where it is really needed - war-ravaged Sierra Leone!
The same civil war that depleted the country of tools and work is now providing ample raw material for recovery: weapons. Enterprising blacksmiths and metal workers convert them into farm implements so that a Kalashnikov becomes hoes and axe heads
Ahhh, how sweet! And once the peacenik charity workers have left, the enterprising Blacksmiths and Metal Workers can search EBay for DVDs showing how to turn Hoes and Axe Heads into fully working Kalashnikovs! And to think that some people believed the Internet was only good for Star Trek and Porn!
PPS: Did I mention that they also sell rocket launchers...?
PPPS: And tanks.